April 18, 2014.  Five months and thirteen days since my big brother, Seth, departed this life.  Until now, I’ve found it too painful to write.  Until now, I wasn’t sure what I should or should not share.  Now though, I am convinced the time has come for me to break silence and let the world around me know how abundantly I have received grace, truth, comfort, peace, hope, and healing.  I want the healing and comfort I’ve been given to bubble up and spill over into the hearts and minds of those around me.  To my loved ones still hurting, and to anyone else facing a dark, painful event or season of life.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”  2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Easter has and will continue to be the most significant holiday to my family and I.  It’s more than a big family dinner, dyed eggs, chocolate bunnies, and yellow peeps.  All these things are fun and bring us enjoyment, along with watching the kids run around the farm filling their baskets with goodies, hunting for the next treasure with pure bliss shining on their faces.  Yet sometimes, these events can distract us from the sole reason we have this special day to celebrate.  But not this year.  This Sunday, I will be rejoicing in the victory we have been given from the One who’s love knows no bounds.

On November 5, 2013, my life was shattered and my heart broken.  As soon as I learned my big brother was gone from this life on earth, I fell to my knees and cried out to God.  It didn’t seem real, it had to be a nightmare; and some days it still feels that way.  My heart cry to God was this, “God, please, give me confirmation Seth is with you!  Nothing else matters, nothing else can give me comfort.  Please, God, you have to give me the comfort of knowing I will see him again!”  You see, my faith is weak in that I needed and wanted continued reassurance, a solid confirmation, that Seth was not dead.  I knew I would never hear his voice on the phone again, I would never again get to hear him laugh as I gave him the latest update on his ornery nephews and niece, and it was just too much to bear.  I wanted God to tell me or show me that Seth is alive now more than ever because Seth is now living with him, in his permanent home.  That very day, I received from a dear friend, two of the most encouraging scriptures I’ve ever read.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:37-39

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.  My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” John 10:28-29

These powerful, beautiful truths gave me immediate peace.  But the next few months were still dark and grey.

The journey of grieving a loved one is long, hard, sometimes dark and lonely, and no one can walk it for you.  Thankfully, my Father has carried me when I was too weak to walk.  He has pulled my mind from the dreary mud and planted the peace of knowing this separation is only temporary.  Though Seth’s physical body is gone, his soul is very ALIVE.  Satan cannot take his soul because Seth made the decision to give himself to the only One who has the power to save or destroy his soul.   One day, we will join him again and the sorrows and evil that plagued his life and ours in this world won’t be there.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.  All these things are gone forever.” Revelations 21:4

About a month ago, I had dream.  I was surrounded by family: my husband, mom, little brother, our children, etc.  Then out of no where, Seth appeared.  Everyone else faded into the background, though they were still with us, and Seth and I embraced in the biggest bear hug.  I was sobbing and through tears told him, “we’ve missed you so much!”  Seth answered, “I know, and I’ll be coming back real soon.”

“Those who have been ransomed by the Lord will return.  They will enter Jerusalem singing, crowned with everlasting joy.  Sorrow and mourning will disappear, and they will be filled with joy and gladness.” Isaiah 51:11

I continue to cry out to God, and continue to receive the most amazing comfort and encouragement from my supportive husband,  caring friends, family members, counselors, pastors, God’s Word, my six year old’s drawings and memories of “uncle Seff”, emails, texts, blogs, a sermon series at church ABOUT HEAVEN, messages about healing and hope for the broken-hearted, songs, and the list goes on. There are still plenty of difficult moments ahead, more tears to shed for certain.   Thankfully, God has been pouring out to me abundantly, faithful as ever, mending my broken heart, each word or image another stitch.  The hole is being repaired, but the scar will remain until the day I arrive to my eternal home, reunited with my brother, father, grandmother and other loved ones.  The home where Seth is now resting safe in the arms of our Savior.

This Easter, I am more grateful because never before have I been more aware and in need of the hope I have through God’s abundant gift of grace.  How beautiful and overwhelming is His love. This is how love wins.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17

If you have never accepted God’s amazing gift, I urge you to reconsider.  Honestly, if you’re unsure, if you cannot fathom how this kind of love is possible, why not give it a try?  What do you have to lose?  There is nothing I am more certain of in my life than the gift of eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ, and I know someday, not so far off, I will be called home to be with him for eternity.  For the skeptic, I would much rather hold on to my faith in Christ now and risk being wrong in this life, because all I have to lose is finding that when it ends that was it.  Better that than to assume you are right and deny this precious gift, only to arrive at the gates and discover you were wrong.

“My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.  You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

Above all else, this Easter I will rejoice because my debt has been bought and paid for.  My life has been ransomed and restored.  I will celebrate the truth that my Savior has conquered death, and He is alive.

On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb,  but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.  While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them.  In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?  He is not here; he has risen!  Luke 24:1-6