It’s been a hard week.  A lot of sickness combined with too little rest made for several major meltdowns, leaving me to question my sanity (yet again), my parenting, and my heart.  Yet, brokenness can lead to breakthroughs.

As I sat down this evening to reflect on the first four days of Lent, I felt pretty broken.  A messy week of running on empty, I didn’t even know where to begin, or whether I had the energy.

Flipping through the pages of my journal, it was the glimmer of light peaking through the threads of fabric woven together over the last seven months that caught my eye.  Each piece represents a situation or circumstance that brought me here tonight. As I skimmed over the prayer requests, praises, scriptures, and events, it wasn’t the circumstances that stood out most, but the unexpected relief of hope, goodness, and blessings.  Unmistakable evidence of my Father’s finger prints found on every thread my tapestry consists of for this season of life.  And only He could open my eyes and soften my heart to see it.

So why is it so hard for me to live fully present in each moment and seize the gift of each new day?

Over the next six and half weeks I hope my focus is completely transformed and fixed on full awareness that I am right where I’m supposed to be at exactly the right time for a reason; for a purpose that is good.  And that is all that actually matters.

As I unplug from the bombardment of sensory and information overload, may my heart and mind be quieted, and may my spirit be still.  May I know that He is GOD, He is in control.  He never abandons or forsakes me, no matter how hard I try to sabotage it all, no matter how easily distracted I am, He is constant, and He is GOOD.